The new year always seems to give me a new sense of optimism, like a clean slate that has yet to be written. However, this year seems slightly different, having lived in China for over 10 years this time between the calendar new year and Chinese New Year has started to feel like a strange waiting period, especially after a hectic Christmas spent with family. I seem to be on the wait list for the next holiday and rest time. It has made staying motivated a bit of a challenge, almost like I’m waiting for a ‘do-over’ again in 6 weeks’ time. I think it’s because I know this year will bring around a lot of change. Already I’ve felt the impact of others changes with many starting the new year by announcing a new job or a change of country, a few of my great mentors at work have decided to change their path and move to other opportunities. At times, I feel in a strange limbo of wanting to change almost everything in my life from my apartment style to my career and then in the same breath I feel paralyzed by the comfort I feel by the familiarity and safety of this known life. The monotony of everyday and the thrill of adventure seem to both be weighing equally on each shoulder.
I know change is coming and when thinking about leading a more balanced life I hope that change and stability do not become binary, that I’m able to find the thrill in the everyday moments and that I realize that subtle changes over time can have the greatest impact of all.