Pay £6,000 rent, but do not go back to Uni. Live with 7 people from all areas of the country, eat out to help out, but don’t see anyone outside of your household. Continue paying £9,000, but campus and all activities are closed. Get involved, keep going! But all in-person events are cancelled. Keep studying, exams are as normal, look after your mental health! Expect the same quality of work, do everything from your bedroom.
Approaching a year anniversary of the first lockdown is unbelievable when last March feels mere months ago, yet my heart sinks when I watch TV shows and films and someone mentions large gatherings, concerts, meals out, or simply hugs; they are a distant memory.
It is not surprising mental health and adherence to lockdown are at an all-time low amongst student communities.
I try not to dwell on the money, or the fact I am completing a practical Drama degree from my home bedroom. Or, that I am paying rent for somewhere I am not technically allowed to stay in. Or the £9,000 I and all my friends are paying to do virtual fieldtrips, sea practicals on zoom, or final year dance examinations in the lounge.
This is not just an ode to the lost money. It is a nod to the lost friendships, the acquaintances on the cusp of deeper connection, friends kept up by impromptu meetings in the pub, corridor chats, and group projects.
It is an ode to the societies. For societies simply not able to continue, for ones keeping going with ¼ of the members. For zoom socials with no attendance, for third years watching their society, born out of a passion for radio, gin, boxing or surfing slowly die as they just cannot continue with an online formant.
It is an ode to the freshers. Locked in a tiny room in a flat of strangers, their only reminder of being at university spoken to them through an LED screen. Of second years who only had one term of a normal year and never quite got settled. Of third years facing online graduation, their hard work celebrated with a paper hat and a home-printed certificate.
This isn’t an article to complain. I am not inherently a complainer. Lockdown in many ways has been beautiful and eye-opening. I also am not here to pass blame. I have seen my friends push through, students coming together to make the best of a bad situation, start passion projects such as jewellery companies, reworking and selling old clothes- becoming resourceful to fill the void of the promised ‘uni experience’.
I honestly see a huge amount of strength amongst the student community. Students seem to have a peculiar way of simultaneously being the biggest complainers (being one myself I feel justified to say that!), whilst also being incredibly resilient. The theatre society I am part of, the biggest in my University, has produced 3 online shows via zoom and other online formats. We have done workshops with Directors, Producers and alumni, and created more opportunities for freshers than any other year. We pick each other up when one of us feels defeatist, and I honestly don’t know how I would have coped without the support of my EUTCo committee (Exeter University Theatre Company).
I am wary here of sugar-coating the reality of student debt and online university, as it can be isolating and bleak at the best of times. I think the best way of describing this time is as a living juxtaposition. I feel closer to myself and personal goals, more focused on what I really want, and closer to the people in my life. My circle has shrunk yet become strong and bounded, but I also feel locked in a literal bubble of my own life, shocked when I venture into the real world and see other people living separate lives- almost as if it’s all just here for me.
However if anything, this year has proved to me how resourceful humans can be when our motives are fuelled from passion. I am consistently in awe of my online peers. Passion and love are what make the world go round, in all senses of the words. I speak through the example of theatre as that is my field, but it extends to all endeavours. I see people creating new ways to connect and follow their passions. A love for theatre fuels the zoom rehearsals, the passion to create art fuels the dancer, finding new ways to create digital work can be exciting and stimulating when it comes from the right place.
People are still creating, discovering and pushing forward. New businesses are popping up all over my Instagram, my friends are exploring passions they never knew about, writing novels, creating art, joining initiatives, conversations around mental health are happening more than ever.
It is almost impossible to say anything universal about lockdown. In one sense, I feel a connection to the whole country as we muddle through together, it is unique to be going through something so uprooting to everyday life with the whole nation, oddly comforting. In hard times it is easy to fall into negative energy patterns. I go there often. But I do genuinely believe people are finding ways of focusing on the good and on passions that often fall second to socialising, or the pressures of general day to day living in this hectic digital age.
We are all still navigating this unfamiliar territory, but I think it’s okay to be enjoying some of it. Sometimes it feels no-one can say anything positive about the situation as we are so aware of the pain unanimous to all those being directly or indirectly affected, and to admit you are enjoying any part can seem selfish and out-of-touch. The reality is, I have a love-hate relationship with lockdown. In ways I am closer to my goals, feel more in-tune with mind and body, and in others I feel robbed of vital life experiences of my 20s and a growing sense of isolation.
So what am I actually saying? I guess, to embrace it all. Ride out the bad days, keep connected to the people who lift us up, and know our worth, meaning know we are worth taking time for, to care for our health and happiness. And I urge us to all keep creating. Don’t let lockdown steal your passions. Let’s all keep creating. And to the fellow university students, you are not alone. Different social groups are all suffering in different ways, and we are certainly not the first group of young adults to experience crisis. Humans are resilient, and we will come out the other side stronger because of this. Keep pursuing what lifts your soul up and makes you feel alive.
Who am I?
I’m Holly. A 20-year old student in her second year at the University of Exeter studying Drama. I am a qualified NLP practitioner and have dreams of yoga-teaching, free-lance writing and life-coaching around the world. My passions lie in helping people connect with their minds and reaching their wildest goals.
I have a YouTube channel where I share my views on veganism, mindfulness, spirituality and navigating my 20s. Click here is you would like to have a look!
